This past weekend we went to several yard sales. We don't go very often, and this weekend was the reason why. We had planned on looking for some end wrenches for Jon to use in a project he is doing. Instead, we found a lot of things we did not need. Do we really need three sets of darts with real feathers? Granted, they are real feathers, and we do have a dart board, but no on has thrown anything at it - dart or otherwise - for at least a year. I did get a few good things, like a lamp for my office and a few necklaces.

All the yard sale shopping led us to the conclusion that we need to get rid of some stuff, if only to make way for new stuff. So, we are going to have our own yard sale on Saturday. We have already put together a few things, and I think our pile will grow quite a bit as the week goes on.

Yard sales do make me a bit anxious though. I worry our items are not worth what we think they are, or that people will whisper to each other about how ugly things are, or how many weeds we still need to pull out of our flower garden. Pretty much I am worried that the people who come shop at my sale will be yard salers just like me. I try not too judge too much. For one thing, I am just excited to see all the things people have in their houses. For example, at one yard sale we went to they were selling more than 100 tobacco pipes. And for $5 each, they were making a killing. Some of them were really cool with ornate carving or silver handles. It makes you wonder what other things they collect. My mind goes to snuff boxes and even preserved or mummified human lungs. (Can you tell I have been watching that show Oddities?)

We won't be selling anything as unique as that, but if someone is looking for some good summer reading, a bird cage, a wireless Nintendo controller, a small entertainment center or a homebaked cookie (Moira is running a bake sale) then we've got you covered.

I never really understood the promotions for television shows that started with, ‘Every once in a while a show comes along with the ability to change your life…’ These promotions are meant to entice the viewer to watch when the show finally airs three months hence. They ads are usually taken off the air at about the time the show is — four episodes in. Maybe this is because no lives were changed — just channels. I now think I understand this kind of advertisement, and I feel they should be used to advertise shows like A&E’s “Hoarders” and ABC’s “Super Nanny”.

When I watch these shows I feel good about myself. I know it is wrong to find pleasure in other’s struggles, whether serious psychological issues or parenting problems, and I am not so much finding pleasure as I am confidence. These types of shows give me self-confidence, as I am sure they do for others.

These programs make me feel as though my house, the living room riddled with stuffed animals, the kitchen filled with dirty dishes and the desk buried under weeks of research and library books, is not as bad as it could be. These programs allow me to feel like a good mother with the best of intentions and enough parenting skills to teach my children manners. These programs give me hope.

I realize it sounds a little crass to be overjoyed that life is not always rosy for others, and I recognize this will make me look like a bad person to some, but there are those of you out there who can relate. I know it. You may hide behind self-righteousness at being called out on it, you may play dumb and say you’ve never once smiled as Nanny Jo gave a parent a lecture, but you are out there.

I try to think of these shows not as reality TV, but as emotional support. When viewers are feeling down after an argument with their 9-year-old daughter because they won’t let her leave the house wearing a plaid skirt with ripped tights covered in equally ripped and filthy jeans they can turn to Nanny Jo and her time with parents who have it worse than they. When viewers are overwhelmed with dirty laundry and sticky floors, with no motivation to do anything about it, they can watch an episode of “Hoarders.” Knowing there aren’t dead cats buried beneath 2,000 pounds of trash on your living room carpet can allow you to relax a little and not get so stressed.

Call me insensitive or self-indulgent, if you will, but these shows are cathartic, and I hope the re-runs stay on the air for a very long time.

For the past year and a half we have been without cable, satellite or antenna television service. We have rented movies, watched the movies we already owned and followed some of our favorite programs on our computers. Not having the distraction TV affords has enabled me to get a lot of work done. For the past three months or so Jon has been dropping what he thinks are subtle hints about getting satellite service again. When the winter break hit I caved and a friend of ours came to do the installation. Jon and the kids were gone this day and I had the house to myself. I did not turn the TV on once, just used the time to clean the kitchen and get some bills paid. I think I was preparing myself.

I am not proud, but I have in the past two weeks, spent several hours watching TV when I should have been doing something, anything. My house is pretty clean, I don't have any work that is being neglected, yet I feel terrible guilt at the amount of time I have spent watching shows I wouldn't bother with if I had only my Internet connection to watch them through.

Jon stayed up late the other day and came across a show he swore I had to see. He taped two episodes for me and I have just finished watching them back-to-back, taking breaks only when it got too graphic. Yes, graphic. Not in the sexual innuendo and blood and gore kind of way. In the 'I can't believe someone can live in that filth' kind of way.

The show is called Hoarders. People, with obvious psychological problems, get help cleaning their home in order to keep their children, keep their animals and sustain their health. While the show is extremely disturbing, it is like a car wreck, you just can't turn away. (Okay, I did turn away several times when I thought I might become ill.)

I have said before that watching shows like Nanny 911 make me feel like a better parent, well this show makes me feel like a fantastic housekeeper. And that is saying something. Ask anyone who knows me, especially my mom. When I was a kid, you couldn't find my bed through all the toys and clothes. I am much better today, but I still don't have my mom's clean-in-the-middle-of-the-night-because-you-can't-sleep ability.

So today I am feeling like I am one of the neatest people on the planet. Well, I do feel the need to scrub my toilet, maybe more than once. Not because it is extremely dirty, but because the ones I saw on TV today made me want to vomit and I don't ever want mine to come even close to looking like that.