Photo taken from this blog post. Thank you!

I Googled ‘event calendar’ yesterday for the town I live in thinking I would find a multitude of things available to get me off my fat butt during the week. It seems there are a whole lot of support groups in my area—most of them for addiction to alcohol or narcotics. While I do not have an addiction to either of those things, the narcotics anonymous groups have titles that make me think the group is a ball of fun.

Who wouldn't want to participate in a group titled KiSSS? It almost sounds like speed dating (speed as in: n. rapidity in moving, going, traveling, proceeding, or performing; swiftness; celerity: the speed of light; the speed of sound. NOT Amphetamine or methamphetamine)

Other real NA group titles in my area are Addicts R Us (yes, just like Toys R Us, but not nearly as fun) and Monday Madness (this sounds like an amazing Labor Day sale).

I have many of my own ideas for support groups. There are so many things I need support with. I will throw a few out there and take a survey of who might want to join what.  

Mis-Fortune: This could be support for those with actual missed fortunes (they miss all the money they used to have before they trusted Bernie Madoff) or even a support group for accident-prone individuals. This group should not be confused with the beauty contestant information session being held across the hall.

Un-Fare: A support group for over-eaters or individuals who never tip their servers.

It's Gut to Stop: A support group for people who over-internalize all their problems (which may lead to IBS, ulcers and anger-management issues- all of which would have a separate support group).

Visa- Vis: Support group for over-spenders. Helping individuals change their lives, by reversing the charges (so to speak). This is not a get-out-of-debt gimmick, and leaders will not contact your creditors for you.

*My Breastfriend: I am always looking for a little more support for my gigantic breasts. Not sure how this would go down- an entire hour of someone in the group holding your breasts up to give your back a rest, or more of a discussion group on the best bras and plastic surgeons?

*Disclaimer: This name is stolen from a maternity product made to assist with breastfeeding.

My son is a member of a cult.

Okay, it's technically not a cult, but that is what Jon and I call it. Really it is a group of students against drugs and alcohol. They meet weekly and organize activities and hold dances at the school. They have had leadership conferences and tonight they are all participating in Relay for Life.

I was excited for Kyle to donate money and participate with the American Cancer Society, but I have no patience for irresponsible organizers.

The adult leader of the group (a teacher) did not arrive at the event until 30 minutes after it began. My son, along with several other teenagers, stood around with their things unable to even register because their group coordinator had all their forms and money.

When he finally arrived he didn't say one word to the waiting parents - just plowed on through and made his way to register. I finally left my son there, but with specific instructions to call me every hour.

If the group was a cult they would probably forget to buy the sugar for the Kool-Aid, or the guy in charge would buy Crystal Light instead and screw up all their plans.