The title of this blog post may lead some to believe I have taken up exercising. This assumption would be incorrect. I never run anywhere- especially on purpose. The shoes were part of my preparation for weekend activities. Jon and I attended Haunted Palouse on Saturday. This is a pretty big deal in our region. Every year the town of Palouse (about 15-20 minutes from Moscow, ID) put on haunted houses and haunted hay rides. The whole community gets together to donate their time and talents. I have heard rumors of how scary it is for years- that is why I have never attended. I am a total wimp.

One of my co-workers was volunteering to be an autopsy patient in one of the haunted houses this year and was really excited about having some of us come out and see how scary he can be. (Normally he is a very laid-back person.) I almost didn't go- the anticipation was so intense, it was just about too much for me. I had finally decided to skip it when I received a text message from this co-worker saying how excited he was to have me come and how much it meant to him to have us support him. There was no way to get out of it now, so Jon and I took another couple with us- just to be clear, going with other people was as much about having a good time with friends as it was about having more people to buffer me from the violence.

I did several things to prepare:

• Took a long swig of eggnog (yes, they do have it in the stores already and no, it did not have alcohol)
• I found clothes to wear that were both warm and long-sleeved (so no ghouls could touch my skin)
• I thought of all the movies that scare me and imagined the characters naked (this was a bad idea- Jack Nicholson and that creepy guy who plays Malachi in 1983 Children of the Corn do not look good nude)
• I ate a lot of chocolate (I figured if it made you feel better after a run in with Dementors, than it should do the same for creepy clowns and zombies)
• I grabbed some paperbags (for hyperventilating)
• I laced up my running shoes (so I could move quickly away from the scaryness) 

None of these things really did much for me. As we stood in the foggy night, rain drizzling down our backs and screams coming from the building beyond I began to lose my cool. My stomach clenched, and I was sure I would lose my eggnog. I began to sweat- the warm clothes starting to feel like a bad idea. While I was busy freaking out, the line got shorter and then we were there at the entrance being pushed into the pitch black.

My co-worker squirting us with "blood", which went straight in my mouth.

I was scared out of my mind. I screamed, I closed my eyes, I pushed myself into Jon to try to get smaller and I tried to run, but there were too many people in front of me. Then, just when I thought it was over and we had stepped outside, the guide led us back in through another door, and we had to endure even more.

When it was all over we stood in another long line to be scared again at a different haunted house. I am pretty sure I don't ever want to do that again. If I do, I will have to start preparing a lot earlier, and with more intensity. It's two days later and my body still aches from clenching every muscle I have.

Happy Halloween!

Jon was given a one-pound box of See's Candies today at work. See's Candies are not easy to come by around here. You have to drive two hours to get to the nearest store. Anyway, he brought them home to share with me — he was even letting me have my pick since it's my birthday tomorrow. We ate several pieces and then I took a small nibble out of each piece to see which ones I wanted to eat later and which ones Jon could have. (Aren't I nice?)

I left the opened box on my side table in my room. Later while we were eating dinner I noticed our small dog Ralph was missing. I found him on our bed, chocolate covering our quilts and his face and only one piece of chocolate left in the box.

I'm ashamed to say my first thought was, "I can't believe he ate the See's Candies before I could eat my favorite pieces." I then quickly turned my thoughts to my dog's health.

Ralph is only about 20 pounds and I knew the chocolate would make him very sick. I promptly grabbed the hydrogen peroxide and we made Ralph drink a bit to induce vomiting. Jon says he lives up to his name — he promptly threw up (even one whole chocolate was expelled) and we gave him a bath.  He seemed to be doing better and about an hour later he threw up again. Not just a little, but copious amounts of chocolate, nougat, nut and caramel vomit. Half of this ended up on our Chocolate Lab Lulu's back. (She was laying on the floor under the couch.) The irony is not lost on me.

Now we have two very clean dogs and a lot of dirty laundry. The two dogs are now sitting in their kennels looking very forlorn.

Just to clarify — I will be handing out candy on Halloween, not toothbrushes.

Tomorrow I am going to start phasing out sugar. I know this comes as a shock to most of you and it is sorrowful for some, but it needs to be done. I am apprehensive, as I know it will provide days of withdrawal headaches and weeks of crabby behavior.

Starting tomorrow I will cut out any sugary foods — candy, cookie, cake, brownies, ice cream — the five food groups. After my body has gotten a hang of that (about two weeks) I will begin to cut out other foods like white breads, pastas and some sauces. I'm not a zero-carbohydrate person so I will continue to eat some carbohydrates in smaller quantities and made from whole-wheat. I've done it before; I can do it again. Right? We shall see.

So, today I am going to finish off my last bag of peanut M&Ms, having vanilla ice cream for dessert (with the last of the whipped cream) and drinking my last Diet Dr. Pepper (no I won't — they are sugar-free).

Tomorrow: Day 1 of scary, crazy-eyed Erin.  

How many stages to grief are there?

Two slices of chocolate chip banana bread, with layers of Nutella, bananas, and marshmallow creme sandwiched in between, dipped in cake batter and deep-fried, then dipped in melted chocolate and rolled in toasted almonds and coconut.

(Submitted by Pearl Hurst) From the website This is Why You're Fat

On a daily basis I go to bed thinking, "Tomorrow I am going to eat better and exercise more and maybe lose some of the fat I've gained in the last few years eating like a 20-something undergraduate with self-esteem issues." Problem is, the next morning I get up, look at the beautiful sunny day that is very appealing for an early morning walk, and close my curtains. I choose instead sit at my desk eating 'Nilla Wafers as I work, sure the pounds will just decide they don't like me one day. It doesn't help that I come across some of my favorite blogs  with posts like these:

Pie Pops from A Cup of Jo
Banana Bites from Framed
Philadelphia Lemon-Style Ice Cream from Not So Humble Pie

Seriously people, I may have to start following diet blogs. This is getting ridiculous. I figure if I say it on my blog I'll have to actually do it (otherwise I'll have to answer to you all). So, without further procrastination, I am going jogging/speed walking/running/strolling) sometime tonight after I finish work and before I go to bed. I'll let you know how it goes. I am easily sidetracked, so it could be a very short or very long jog/speed walk/run/stroll.

I was listening to the news this morning on the radio when I heard this simile about the oil spill: "The oil looks like melted chocolate on the surface of the ocean."

I think I would use a different comparison. When I hear it looks like melted chocolate, my first thought is, "Yum" and then, "That doesn't sound so bad."  Really, imagining ducks and ocean wildlife covered in melted chocolate doesn't have as negative a visual impact as some other things.

Now, if they compared the oil spill to baby diarrhea or rotten guacamole then I would be totally turned off. I guess it just depends on what the news slant is that day.

While most people are counting down the days to Christmas, I am counting down the days until I am in my mid-thirties. I am not happy about this birthday, not happy at all. I admit, thirty was hard and I tried to be twenty-nine for a few years, but this one, ouch! 


Maybe I should make a sort of advent calendar for my birthday, like the one we made for Christmas this year. Behind every door there will be a small prize to make me feel better — a nice pendant necklace, some age-defying face cream, a button that says 'Age isn't everything,' chocolates, a certificate for laser hair removal, a thousand dollars and maybe even a mirror that doesn't magnify, but in fact makes everything look smaller. The more I think about it, the more this could work. 


I may have to break out the scrapbook supplies and make me a calendar tomorrow. Is it cheating if you buy all the presents yourself and just pretend to be surprised when you open the little doors?


Countdown: 26 days