I was searching for Torani syrups online when I found Autocrat Coffee Syrup on Amazon.com. Apparently, coffee milk made with this syrup is the official drink of Rhode Island. The syrup is sold by Amazon in gallon containers. 

Anyway, I believe in the power of consumer reviews, so I took a look to see what others had said about the product. There are three reviews for the product including one negative review. This one made me giggle.

Autocrat Coffee Syrup

1 of 16 people found the following review helpful:

 Do NOT buy this product
I chugged a whole gallon of this stuff a couple of weeks ago and it did absolutely NOTHING for my cough. All it did was keep me awake for 3 days. Forget that.

I found this little gem today:

Upside (Down) Your (Empty) Head

COFFEE SHOP | COMMACK, NY, USA

Me: “Here are your 2 triple venti whole milk upside down caramel macchiatos, both with extra caramel. Have a great day!”
Customer: “Oh no, those aren’t mine! They’re hot.”
Me: “Didn’t you order the 2 triple venti whole milk upside
down caramel macchiatos with extra caramel?”
Customer: “Yeah exactly, upside down. That’s cold. I want them cold. Like with ice. I said upside down, that’s what it means.”
Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, upside down doesn’t mean iced. Iced means iced.”
Customer: “Really? So can you make them again with upside down ice?”

You can find more of these at :The customer is not always right

While sitting just outside the coffee shop on campus I heard the following exchange:

Barista: What can I get you today? (grabbing marker and coffee cup)

Customer: I'll have a grande half-caf, part-skim, low-foam, with room, toffee nut, marshmallow, white chocolate mocha latte espresso Americano with whip cream. (okay, that wasn't exactly it, but pretty close.)

Barista: (furiously scribbling the order on the side of the cup she held) Do you want that hot, iced or frappé? (note she has a hot cup in hand).

At this point, if this was a video, the action would be frozen and the deep narrator voice would break in.

Narrator: In the 35 degree weather what is the normal temperature for a coffee order? Many would argue the default temperature is hot, and it should be assumed so unless the customer requests differently. Let's return to the action to see what the customer decides.

Customer: (quizzical look on her face) Well, I want coffee. Isn't that what I ordered?

Narrator: There you have it. She just wants coffee.

This scene should be a commercial for a coffee company. They would be similar to the Dos Equis and Old Spice commercials - both of which are ingenious advertising.

I have decided to join a club. The Breakfast Club to be exact. The Breakfast Club is a restaurant downtown that is only open for breakfast and lunch and serves breakfast all day. They have thick cut bacon, obscenely large sausages, crispy hash browns, and everything huckleberry. This includes huckleberry zucchini bread that you can get instead of toast and huckleberry coconut pancakes that would make a nun swear they are so sinful. After all of that, imagine my dismay when they told me that there was no actual club, that the closest they could offer me was a coffee card (after 10 coffees, the 11th is free), and I don't even drink coffee.

Regardless of this terrible upset I do believe that I may become a frequent diner at the Breakfast Club. In fact after only one meal I am pretty sure if I go there even once a month I will gain back the 45 pounds I lost this year. I am really going to have to start going to the gym. Yoga with the Wii Fit just isn't going to cut it anymore.

So if you are ever in town, stop by my house and I will gladly treat you to a breakfast where I am currently their unsolicited newest and only member.