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The Backward Life

“The road to hell is paved with works-in-progress.” —Philip Roth

It's Called Positive Thinking

By 8:00 AM , , , , , , , , ,

I'm closer to 40 than 30, or even 35 at this point, and it feels as though everyone is in their groove but me. I do recognize how whiny I've been lately, but just go with it- you obviously don't mind, if you keep coming back. Either that, or you derive pleasure from knowing someone else (being me) is worse off than you. Whatever the reason, take a break from your wonderfully put together life and read about how mine is so un- put together. Also, to make it seem less depressing, I will give one positive thing for every negative thing. See, I'm not a total loser. Ok, that's not true. I may seem balanced, but it comes from working with psychologists all day and editing their articles and reading the links they share via email. Fake it 'til you make it.

1. I have an education I don't use in its entirety.
                  - At least got an education.
2. My entire future hinges on the job market for Art professors.
                  - Baby boomers are starting to retire.
3. I haven't gotten a consistent amount of sleep in a week.
                  - I have perfected writing things down in the dark.
4. I have library books that are due, but I haven't finished reading them.
                   - We have a library.
5. The hardwood floor in my foyer is covered with enormous, ugly, mismatch rugs so no one gets four-inch splinters in their feet.
                   - I don't currently have any four-inch splinters in my feet.
6. I desperately want to sit on my couch and eat an entire cake, but I can't have grains, or sugar, or butter.
                   - I can still eat bacon.
7. I don't own a house- not even a small one. I'd settle for a shed that's all mine.
                   - I don't have to pay property taxes or worry about how I'm going to pay to fix the roof.
8. I can't afford to send my kids to fancy music camps in New England.
                   - I can afford a summer pool pass.
9. I signed up for a zumba class, but what I really want to do is just watch while eating a bowl of ice cream.
                   - No one there knows me, so I could get away with not attending.
10. I haven't had a true vacation in several years.
                   - I live in a beautiful area where there are many opportunities for staycations.
11. I think I need bi-focals.
                   - Sorry, I can't find a positive here. At least I can see???
12. My dogs are more excited about getting up at 5:30 than I am.
                   - Just two more months and I can start getting up at 6:30.
13. Half my clothes have stains on them and I don't have infants or toddlers to use as an excuse.
                  - The stains can usually be camouflaged or covered with a sweater or something.
14. I have not met my potential.
                  - Not sure what my potential is, so I could have met it without knowing.

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  1. Maybe add these to your list:
    You are closer to 35 than to 45. That beats being closer to 65 than 55, in my book.
    You signed up for a Zumba class. That suggests you are healthy enough to attend Zumba classes.
    You don't own a house. You are free of all that obligation.
    Really? Your entire future hinges on the job market for Art professors? Get real. You really have no idea what your entire future hinges on. You don't know your potential so how can you know your future?

    I am really not one for the whole positive thinking thing. Sometimes I think all it does it camouflage the pain that we feel in being human. But maybe it works for you?

    1. Thanks, Graciewilde. It's good to have someone help put things in perspective. I think my pity party is starting to die down.